Back in Arkansas

I find it difficult to keep track of my life and what I'm actually doing, so I can't even imagine how confusing it must be to try and follow along... What am I doing anyways?

Well, I'm not sure exactly, but I'm back in Arkansas again... ...I never made it to Washington or the Panama Canal like I thought, but spent the last two and a half months in California working on a yacht Friend Ships has there.

Did I say working? ...I meant surfing. Well, on the weekends at least.

(Have I mentioned how much I love surfing? ...This is actually a picture of my friend Damien.)

Anyways, I decided to return to Arkansas for a hundred different reasons. And none of them I feel like discussing here at the moment.

But instead of Seattle being our next stop, the trip was postponed and Friend Ships decided to do disaster response for hurricane Ike in Galveston. That means all the crew in California are now on their way back to Louisiana. I opted not to go this time around, but who knows what will happen in the future... ...Not me...

Here are a couple pictures of the love of my life!

(My little pumpkin Joey!)

(Isn't he a cutie! He just loves playing in the leaves.)

Pulling Through...

Wow, life is tough…I know in my last post I said I’ve been going through a tough patch in life, but gosh, I’ve really been struggling since my trip to Africa.

While I was in Nigeria my life was flipped upside down. And that is an understatement! I went to Africa to tell the Nigerians that God loved them. And as it turned out, I didn’t even know that myself.

I was in my room one day (in Nigeria) searching my bible for something that said God loved me. Well, I ran into a scripture in the sixth chapter of Genesis. It was right before God was going to flood the earth and He said He was sorry He ever created man. I was angry! I was so angry at God and asked why the heck He even created us then… Why would God have created us when He knew how everything was going to turn out? And knew He was going to be sorry He created us?

…I didn’t get an answer…

I’ve been trying to figure out how God –the King of the universe could be Love when there is so much hurt in the world.... The kids at the orphanage in Nigeria, the ladies working the gravel pit or even a broken heart… How could God see that and not do anything about it?

…I don’t want to have my own children because I believe it is greater love for my unborn children (if that makes any since) that they are not brought into the world at all. (I'm not talking about abortion, I'm talking about not having kids at all.) I would never wish the pain of this world on anyone! (This is simply my own personal opinion that is liable to change next year or even tomorrow, because it seems I’m capable of changing my mind about everything more than the average person.)

So, how can God, being Love, send us to the world to deal with this pain? And how could a loving God send people to hell?

Well, I read awhile back in a book titled “A Time to Dance” that going to hell is our/my choice. God does not send people to hell. We make the decision for ourselves of where we go when we die and God simply just honors our choice… He didn’t make us robots, but actually loved us enough to give us a choice to follow Him or not.

We are given a free gift of eternal life with Christ (that we certainly don’t deserve). But it’s our choice whether we take it our not. God loves us so much that He gave us a choice!

I don’t have the answers to my questions above (so any input would help me so much!), but I do know that there are MANY people I love dearly. And I ask myself, “how do they know I love them?” Besides the fact that I have told them, do they have proof of my love? Or is it simply just believing? Is it just trusting even?

How do I know that Debi, Amanda, Rebekah or even my family love me? And I guess I know because they say they do and I trust them. Because we have a relationship and I can see it in their actions that they care…

So if that’s the case, than why would I not believe God when He says He loves me? (Ephesians 2:4-5, Ephesians 3:17-19, 1 John 4:10 & 16, Romans 5: 5-8, Jeremiah 31:3, 2 Thessalonians 2: 15-17 and the list continues.) Especially when He is unable to lie and actually sent his Son to die in the place of MY sins. Is there a greater love? ...I haven't heard of any.

So, I guess that's where the faith thing comes in. I know God loves me because it's evident in my life. But I wanted to be able to explain how I knew God loved me, to be able write it all out in some sort of a formula or something. But as I hear it's like trying to explain how God IS, always WAS and always will BE. And I won't even go there.

It seems like I would have had these questions figured out by now. But I guess it took being in Nigeria with nothing but God to realize that I really knew nothing about Him for myself, but only what I had been told.

SURFING!

(My first surf board!)

Wow! Can I tell you all that I love surfing!

Life has been getting to me these past several weeks. Well, actually ever since returning from Africa, but these past couple of weeks especially. I wont go into the details because it’s really beside the whole point of this particular post. I’m writing because I can hardly contain my excitement about surfing!

Since arriving in California I’ve been able to surf every weekend, 3 of them actually, and just love it! Yesterday I was able to buy my own board and had such a wonderful time out on the water! I was out there surfing away and having the time of my life! I couldn’t not smile!

If you’ve been around me recently at all, you’d know that I write on my arm with a huge sharpy marker the word “smile”. It’s because I actually have to remind myself to do so.

Did you know that in Proverbs 29 it says, “where there is no vision, the people perish.”? I went to a church this morning called the Dream Center. Some of you have probably even heard of it before, they do huge outreaches in L.A.. But the pastor gave a message this morning about having a vision and a dream, that you will die without one. I’m not talking about a physical death, I’m talking about being dead while you’re still alive. The message hit me so hard and I realized that I have lost my dreams in life and I have lost my vision. You could ask me what I want to do with my life, and I will tell you that I have no idea. You can ask me where I want to go in life, and I will tell you that I have not a clue. You could even ask me what I love to do, and again I would tell you that there is absolutely nothing I love to do.

Well, I've found that surfing truly makes me smile, and I'm not going to stop there... I'm going to find a dream for my life and go after it! I'm going to find a passion in life and I want it to be built around God. Because He is my first love!

Friend Ships Crew

I just wanted to post a blog dedicated to all the Friend Ships crew out there, past, present or even future.

(Eating lunch on the stern of the Pearl 2008)

I was sitting down for lunch the other day with the 12 other crewmembers that are here in Los Angeles, and we were having a great time just laughing at everything and anything. It was just like having an overly large family.

So as I was sitting there it just dawned on me that I have met and know some AMAZING people!

It’s not every day you run into a fairly large group of people that, for the most part are walking the same path as yourself and that will except you just the way you are. Sure we have our bad days and don’t get along all the time, but in the end the situation is usually resolved and both have come to an understanding somewhere in the middle.

So, to all the Friend Ships crew, thank you for being you, for being real, for being a friend and for making my life so much better.

Love you all!

Danette

(Spirit Messhall 2006)

(Hope lounge 2007)

(Israel 2006)

I wish that I could add everyones picture to this post! But I know so many wonderful people and the pictures would just go on...

Los Angeles, California

Wow, I almost forgot how much I loved the beach/ocean. Is that not the most amazing thing you have ever seen? It’s absolutely beautiful! Gorgeous!

The waves were crashing on the shore and the sound of the rocks hitting each other and rubbing together was so beautiful. I could have stayed there forever and just listened to it.

There wasn’t any surfing that I saw but I’m not giving up that easily. California and surfing just go together like cake and icing. I actually dream about surfing every night, and the good thing about it is, is that I just continue to improve. I’m nearly a professional now. (In my dreams only.) :D

Well, I have obviously departed Lake Charles, Louisiana, because you wont find this scenery anywhere close. I was there for two weeks helping Captain Stan with odd projects before the Integrity (vessel in Seattle) crew is able to journey west. Teri, Stuart and I made the 26hour drive yesterday and have been resting up today. It was actually a good trip and we only had one blowout. We came earlier than the rest of the crew (who will be here in three or four days) to get the Friend Ships warehouse here in Los Angeles cleaned up a bit.

Teri took me out so see the Pearl today. Which is the yacht in the middle pictured above. We’ll be here in Los Angeles for a while (hopefully no more than a month) giving her a little TLC and then we’ll be towing her to Lake Charles with the Integrity. Integrity also needs some love so we’ll be working on here for probably longer than I’m imagining.

In a previous post I said I would be putting in my request to name the vessel in Seattle the Pink Pearl, but it was to late by the time I did, because Friend Ships had already picked out their names. I thought it was kind of funny though that they happened to name the yacht the Pearl. Anyways, I told Capt. Stan I would be referring to her as the Pink Pearl from here on out because it is such a better name. :D

My Little Surfer/Sailor Man!

Well, I wanted to post one more blog with pictures of my sweet-little-man Joseph before heading off in another direction.

At midnight tonight I'll be departing Arkansas and on my way to Louisiana. It takes me nearly 10 hours to make the drive when I do, but I'll be on my first greyhound bus ride and wont arrive in Lake Charles until nearly 20 hours later. I'm not looking forward to the ride but am going to be on the lookout for interesting stories.

This is Joey watching the dog run around the yard. He really gets a kick out of that. And he's wearing his little pirate outfit that I think is just the cutest.. :D

Playing in the creek is an everyday activity; that I'm going to miss very much! We have so much fun!

Smiles from Joe!
And my little surfer man! Before going to the pool.

I hate that life is full of goodbyes! Because one cannot possible know my much I'm going to miss Joey while I'm gone! (tears).

"No matter where you go or what you do, around the corner is yet another goodbye."

Hello Lord ~ By Sara Groves

(Debi's photo of the Ashdod beach in Israel)

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

Just an Update

(Joseph and my littlest niece Emma)

Well, I was going to wait to post a new blog until I had my life all planned out... But it's turning out to take longer than I was expecting.

I'm still sailing through the Panama Canal as officer at some point this summer/fall. We have to be back to the USA by the end of October, so the time is drawing near... I be feel'n it in me bones...

Amanda's in Alaska fishing near Bristol Bay (different than where we fished the previous years). Unfortunately the site was only hiring one person so I'm still in Arkansas working for my dad (Ha, sort of). I still have my fingers crossed in hopes that I'll be getting a call this week from one of two "Fish-site-owners" that are keeping their eyes open for a job for me this summer.. (Salmon commercial fishing season started this week.) Fred, the owner of the site I originally worked for said I could just show up in Alaska and he was sure I could find a job. He assured me he wouldn't let me starve. I don't think that's the best way to go about getting a job though, especially because Capt Stan wants me in Louisiana right now.

If things work out like I am wishing for, I'll fish until the beginning of August and then meet the Friend Ships crew in Seattle to sail around to Lake Charles. I'm guessing that things aren't going to work out quite that nicely though. But I guess can always hope.

So, here are some pictures of "my" baby that I'm going to miss SO much while I'm gone!

Joey getting a little beard trimmage. :D

And Joey being Joey!

This picture is for Amanda... Because she thinks it's so cool my family has a pet deer... Her name's Jasmin and Joey always calls her when he sees her. It's so cute...

*Ting *Ting *Ting

(Special sunset in Lake Charles)

I have an announcement! (No, I'm not getting married!)

I'm hitting the road/sea again... I'm headed down to Friend Ships once again (in Louisiana) where I'll then travel to California with a crew to dry dock (I believe) a yachtish-boat-sea going thing (I really only have a vague idea)... Anyways, from there we'll either sail or drive (again, I really have no idea what I'm talking about) to Seattle where we'll spend some time (no idea how long) preparing to sail our "new" ship through the Panama Canal. I'm super excited about the Panama Canal and can't wait to experience it!

I don't think the vessel has a name yet, so I'll be putting my request in that we name her the Pink Pearl. :D

Then from there, to the island Roatan for some time.. (Don't know what were doing there or how long will be there)... ...And now that I think about it, some more information might be a good idea... ...But like it's always said (with a Kiwi accent),"you need to remain flexible". Because plans are always subject to change...

Anyways, I was assuming it would take about a month to sail around and through that Panama Canal and we'd be home around the end of July-beginning of August. Capt Stan actually laughed at me and then began to assure me he would probably have me home by Christmas.... "Christmas?!" I say. I was kind of thinking of settling down somewhere this summer/fall, you know, grow some roots and stay awhile.. But here I am, again, blown with the wind and off to another adventure... ...How does this happen?

I am excited... A little stressed... Five months is a very long time. Especially without seeing my little brother Joseph... And though I am trying to sweet talk Capt Stan into letting my friend Amanda go, I don't know how that's all going to work out...

Life's crazy... I guess you just have to take everything with a smile...

As time moves along, I'll fill you in on what's really going down... Thanks for taking the time to read this...

Arkansas Fun!

My little sister Sarah came "home" for a couple days (from Missouri) and gave Joey his first horse ride!

As you can see, they both had a great time!

Joey! He loves three-wheeler rides! Dad usually gives him a ride everyday and he was a little sleepy this evening.

My friend Gabriel from Oregon came to Fayetteville with a team for a Track and Field meet. He's a coach so was here coaching a pole vaulter.

We actually met in Alaska a couple years ago when we were commercial fishing. Gabe was fishing for the site neighboring the one Amanda and I were working for, and by the messages in a bottle A and I sent out we made a couple of friends. It was great to see him again and I was able to watch pole vaulting for the first time... It's actually very cool.

(Trent and Ashley)

A couple random pictures for you of some of my friends and I hanging out at the "Old Post Office" in Fayetteville.

(Ashley and Nick)